Faith and healing sometimes come as one term. “Faith Healing” is the method of allowing a person’s utter faith in a higher power, repair and reorganize them, ridding them of their ailments. How does this work? Does it really work? Do you really need faith to heal? Won’t willpower be enough?
What is Faith?
As soon as it’s mentioned, nearly everyone will think that it’s about religion. They are right in one sense. Faith is the act of putting your trust in someone unconditionally. Putting faith in the absolute good, the Lord God, is one of the key things to practice it. There have been cases, however, of people or literature stating that a lack of faith in the lord is a one-way ticket to damnation and an open invitation to sin.
We won’t argue with that, everyone’s free to say what they will, but if there was one thing you should have faith in, it’s yourself. Surrendering yourself to the Lord and have absolute faith in him is a magnificent act, but God won’t do everything for you. A lot of people in the bible were challenged before they had they either gained faith or strengthened it, just ask Job.
In the end, they all had faith in themselves that they will go through with the challenge, proving their faith in God, and make no mistake, God was pleased.
Why Does Faith Matter With Healing?
You’ll hear some people think that faith is not needed to heal one’s self. The people who say this likely have a solid reason to back them up, but there is such as thing as fighting spirit. You would hear doctors commend a person’s fighting spirit, keeping them alive during the affliction of a terrible disease. This sheer willpower is due to their faith in themselves. For those who make it even if the odds are against them, can’t it be argued that it’s due to their faith?
Faith in a higher power is generally considered as the highest kind of faith. It may or may not have an effect on you physically, but it will have a psychological effect. This, in particular, is very useful with behavioral diseases such as addiction. Anxiety and depression are your main enemies, mentally speaking, so having a positive state of mind will definitely help.
In some cases, it can cause a positive psychosomatic effect. A psychosomatic effect is basically your body creating a symptom due to your mental state. You may worry so much that you have a back problem that your brain creates actual pain on your back. This can work in the opposite direction and relieve you of pain or discomfort.
Conclusion
The debate still goes on. Healing may happen with or without faith, but having a positive state of mind can affect you in many ways. Regardless whether the act of faith itself will drive the hand of God to heal you, or your own belief in yourself propelling your body to work better, what remains is that having faith helps. It’s not something you need to spend money on, just a simple matter of mental effort. Having faith won’t undermine you in any way, nor will it have any significant negative effect. Faith helps, if not much, is still something to add up the odds to your favor.
When we are hurt or damaged, it’s common for us to be on guard. Animals follow this rule of “once bitten, twice shy” when they do something that results in wounding themselves. This survival mechanism is what keeps us from danger, whether it be in dangerous situations such as a fires or riots, but it also happens on smaller scales, such as when you’re confronted by people due to your opinion.
Our body doesn’t like being vulnerable. Doing so means we’re susceptible to damage both physically or mentally. However, there are cases where damage must be done first, to bring about goodness and even recover. One such example is a syringe containing medicine. It has to pierce your skin to administer medication. Another example is surgery, where you’re literally cut up, so they can fix what’s wrong inside you.
These are all physical, but what about mental? Mental vulnerability amounts to weakness and in nature, the weak are prey and the most adaptable survives. In the case of drug addiction, the brain seeks reprieve from weakness by taking the substance. With the substance, they feel that all is well in the world, that they aren’t helpless. Yet when it comes to recovery, the absence of the substance brings about pain, anxiety, and helplessness. This is what the 12-Step Programs aim to utilize to bring about recovery.
Alcoholics/Narcotics Anonymous and Vulnerability
One of the most common impressions people have over AAs and NAs is how you have to “surrender yourself to a higher power.” For religious people, the idea is not foreign, but for others, it can be alienating, giving the impression that they will inject a certain dogma that youhaveto follow.
In reality, it was less about the “higher power.” It was more of the act of surrendering. Addiction is a disease that takes the control away from you, so one of the first things to do is take that control away from the drugs, away from you and onto something higher, something that figuratively won’t let you down or fail you, something “better” than you. In order to surrender that control, you need to be vulnerable.
Why is it Difficult to be Vulnerable?
Nobody can convince you to surrender your will apart from yourself. At least, in proper AAs and NAs, you have the absolute freedom to do so. You can stay there and wait until you’re ready, nobody will force you. On the other hand, you can leave and come back when you’re ready. There are, however, a few factors that make it hard for people to make themselves vulnerable.
Denial
A common defensive mechanism. This is the reason why the first step to solving behavioral problems is admitting that you have a problem. Some people may admit they have a problem, but deny the severity of it. All it takes is patience, and a list of all the effects your addiction has caused you.
Fear
Fear of being judged, fear of the shame and guilt of admitting that you’re an addict. Society sees addicts as dysfunctional, often worse than disabled people and close to being criminals, which is why there’s fear. There’s a reason why it’s called ‘anonymous’. You can keep your identity, or choose to disclose it. Everyone in these groups is the same as you or encountered similar things. If there was a shame to be felt here, it’s the shame of not going to one sooner.
Anger
Addicts often feel aggression, especially to anyone getting in the way of their habit. They are angry at themselves for being like this, angry at not being able to change it, and angry at people who don’t understand what they go through. Anger keeps you from feeling vulnerable because it makes you want to fight. Fortunately, you’re not alone there and everyone will understand you. The only way to get over this is to express it. Stand up and say what you’ve done to yourself, stomp and the floor, growl, and scream, whatever it takes, (short of hurting someone and breaking something.) When the anger is gone, hopefully, what follows is the afterglow of clarity.
Each family has their own struggles. These struggles make their lives difficult and challenge their relationship. All over the world, families struggle with having someone they love to fall into alcoholism. When that loved one chooses to overcome their alcoholism, the family as whole recovers with them.
The Al-anon Family Groups is a nonprofit organization. They offer help for families and friends affected by alcoholism. Al-Anon also has a branch called Alateen. Alateen’s programs are aimed to help teen members of families.
Al-Anon and Alateen help families whose loved one has a drinking problem. Their purpose is to educate and guide the families to support their loved ones in recovering from alcohol abuse.
How will Al-Anon Help me?
Having someone in the family deal with alcoholism is difficult. The trials and emotion can wear a person down. It can make someone believe that the situation is hopeless.
Al-Anon and Alateen help family members see the hope and strength that they have. They have a 12-step program that will guide members towards the healing process. They follow a similar 12 step program from Alcoholics Anonymous, the group that helps victims of alcoholism. This 12 step program is their guide for families of recovering alcoholics.
Their programs can educate the family members about the struggles of alcoholism. It can also help them understand how their loved ones fell into it, and how to support them. All the while, their program acknowledges their own struggles and guides them into their own recovery.
Members of Al-Anon and Alateen share their own experience and support one another. Hearing what others go through can offer inspiration. Success stories from other members can show evidence that there is still hope after all the difficulties. Members who have gone through the healing process can offer advice, having been through the same situation as the new members.
What are the 12 Steps of Al-Anon?
Al-Anon’s 12 step program is designed to help families while their loved ones recover from alcoholism. Members practice this 12 step program and help each other by sharing their personal lessons.
The 12 steps are as follows:
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol–that our lives had become unmanageable.
Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out
Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
What if I’m Not Ready to go to a Meeting?
There can be much reason why people may be reluctant to join Al-Anon. The stressful situation of living with alcoholism can make us feel hopeless. Coping with the situation may sound easier than finding a way to free ourselves from it.
Many people have felt uncertainty and even anxiety about attending groups like Al-Anon. But giving it a chance won’t do any harm. It may even give hope.
If you feel that you’re not ready to become a member, you can still visit different meetings of Al-Anon. This way, you can learn more about what Al-Anon is and what it has to offer. It’s better to make an informed decision before choosing to join or not. The meeting can give you inspiration, at least.
Will Al-Anon say I’ve been there?
Al-Anon prioritizes anonymity for their members. Their programs and meetings are confidential. Al-Anon understands the importance of keeping their members’ situations in private. They guarantee that whoever joins their meetings and what they share during the meetings will not be disclosed.
Do I have to talk at Meetings?
Members are free to talk during meetings. It’s not a requirement. It’s your choice if you want to just listen or to engage in the meetings. New members are welcome to listen and learn. New members will also get a list of local meetings and literature to help them.
Even by listening to the meeting, you can gain from Al-Anon meetings. Others’ experiences and advice can give you insight into your own situation. If you are ready to share your own story, then you will be given a chance to do so.
Do I Need to Reserve a Spot at Al-Anon Meetings?
Reservation is not required to join Al-Anon meetings. The meetings can be attended just be walking in. Groups assign a contact person who you can inquire to about the schedule and other information for the meetings. You can communicate with your local Al-Anon group to learn about their meetings. It’s your choice to attend which meeting you will attend and how often you will visit them.
Is Al-Anon Religious?
Al-Anon aims at spiritual development. This is different from religious groups. They focus on spiritual guidance to be more welcoming to members of different religions. Al-Anon’s 12 step program talk about a greater power. But it is up to the member in how they interpret this greater power.
If a relative, a loved one, or a friend is dealing with alcoholism, you may experience difficulty in coping with the situation. While your loved one is recovering from their alcoholism, you can get support too. If you feel that you need help, then contact your local Al-Anon group to learn about their meetings.
Addiction is a long-term disease. It happens unnoticeably for a long period of time and when the effects are noticeable, it’s often too late to justs top. Even the way to recovery is not short, as the “ultra rapid detox” approach only solves the physical part but not the mental part. The road to recovery is about as long as the addiction.
The process is daunting. It could take months, even years. How do you approach such a long span of time without breaking apart? The answer lies in the notion “Living One Day at a Time.”
How Do You “Live One Day at a Time”?
In order to succeed in anything, you have to take it seriously. To give you an idea of what this saying encompasses, this is what’s said in the “Just for today” card often read in various 12-step meetings.
Live through this one day, tackling only this day’s challenges.
For today, be happy. Even if you have to make it up in your mind.
For today, adjust to only what’s in front of you and not everything around you.
For today, you will strengthen your mind and learn a thing or two.
For today, you will do something good for someone, without anyone knowing
Take half an hour for quiet reflection.
For today, enjoy life and appreciate it’s beauty
It may sound downright cheesy for some, but placed into practice and proper perspective, completing this card will make you a better person, addict or not.
What if You’re Living With an Addict? How Do You Follow This Creed?
Take this list to heart. Even a non-addict can benefit from following this list of daily tasks. There are a few pointers on how you can get the motivation to live with an addict, “One day at a time.”
Keep yourself healthy.
Sound body, sound mind. This is true. The first way to keep yourself motivated is to stay healthy. Eat well, get some exercise and let your body flood you with natural “feel-good” chemicals. This is the right way to get high. The struggle is already difficult so keep yourself in top shape
Understand that caring for yourself does not mean you don’t care for your loved one.
Some people think that to help an addict you have to give it your all. This is not true. The reality is that you can only care for them as much as you care for yourself. Rebuild your own life and be a role model for your loved one.
Stand by your boundaries.
Don’t give in to manipulation. Yes means yes, no means no and be very stubborn about it. An addict will do everything they can to get their dose and if you enable them once, they will repeat it again and again.
Accept that your life will change
Don’t yearn for a normal life. Don’t think of what “ought” to be. Don’t think of the future. Instead, focus on what you can do for yourself today. Tackle the small problems today, because they solve the big problems bit by bit.
Addiction to alcohol is one of the most common addictions throughout the world. It has existed since early biblical times, perhaps even earlier to the first discovery of it. People would cherish the sensation of the buzz, the stimulating effects alcohol brings in the right amount. There are others though, that seek the dark yet comforting abyss of inebriation, where they are released from the problems of the world.
In an effort to reach out to all alcoholics who need help, the formation of Alcoholics Anonymous was made. These group meetings follow several programs, one such is the 12-step program that helps you gain your control back to yourself and away from alcohol.
How will Alcoholics Anonymous Help Me?
One of the focuses of the program is to help you get through the effects of alcoholism, whether it be yours or someone else’s. They often employ a program called “Taking it a day at a time.” In essence, it’s a micro-managing program that helps you get through your day by simplifying your goals into small, bite-size pieces. Then it’s a matter of completing them one at a time, day by day.
They also help you in a holistic way by allowing you to hear about other people’s stories. By remaining anonymous, you can feel less ashamed. By hearing other people’s stories, you get some perspective and hope about your condition.
Following the 12-step program and the Day-at-a-time program allows you to get your control back, piece by piece. When you have proper control of yourself, it becomes a useful skill when facing a possible relapse.
What if I’m Not Ready to Go to a Meeting?
First of all, nobody will force you. Though they impose strict regimes in keeping in control, all the control is up to you. If you think you’re not ready, don’t go there. That, however, is the last thing you should do, as there are plenty of alternatives.
Go with a friend
You don’t need to be an alcoholic to go there. Find someone you trust and go with them. Let it be someone that supports you the most or someone you can draw courage from. These meetings also provide help for the people who support alcoholics, so it’s a total win-win situation.
Go there and just sit in the meetings
You don’t have to talk. You don’t have to participate, at least at first. Again, none of them will force you to do anything. You are free to go and leave. If you feel like you’re not ready to speak, go there and observe, see how people do what they do. If you think you can do it, participate. If it’s not your cup of coffee, you’re free to leave to find other alternatives.
Research about it
You’re already doing it. By learning more about what happens in there by watching videos or reading people’s experiences, you can get a scope of it. Remember, you can keep your name a secret. You don’t need to go as far as wearing a mask to hide who you are, but there have been cases like that.
Get one either as far or as near your home
This is all about comfort. If you feel ashamed because someone will see you go to the meetings, then seek on that’s away from your neighborhood. The problem here is that you may find it hard to go there constantly. You can also find one closer to home, so you can leave and go as you please.
Alcoholism is shameful, that’s for certain. However, seeking help to cure your alcoholism is not. It’s far, far more shameful if someone was aware that they have a problem, but didn’t do anything about it. With all the skills, friends, and lessons you’ll gain in this meeting, you will come out a much better person than you used to be before the alcoholism hit.
Will Anyone Say I’ve Been There? Is it truly Anonymous?
Society has much in the way of judging alcoholics and addicts alike. After all, people have been hurt and killed, families have been torn apart, and lives are ruined because of alcoholism. Even though alcoholics are victims of the behavioral disease, (which is not entirely their fault,) they can’t help but feel ashamed about it. This leads to them worrying that other people may “spread the word,” that they are alcoholic.
For one, all Alcoholics Anonymous groups give newcomers special treatment when it comes to anonymity. You’ll be given all the pointers and everything you need to know about anonymity.
They also exercise anonymity even with the press or the public media. They impose equality to ensure that nobody uses the organization to achieve recognition or power. They also heavily impose the limitation of using digital media such as blogs or posts in social networks, in order to keep everyone’s anonymity. The only way a person can break the anonymity
rule is if they revealed themselves. This means you won’t see people taking pictures or recording videos inside the meeting places.
Do I need to Reserve a Spot at Alcoholics Anonymous Meetings?
No. All you need to know is the time and place. There’s no registration required since that goes against the anonymity rule and they don’t take attendance, nor track how frequently people go in and out.
There will be people designated to guide and host the meetings. You can call them for any questions, such as how to get to the meeting places and if there’s anything you need to bring. Mostly, all you need to bring is yourself and your conviction. There are times though when people bring food for everyone, which is also something welcomed.
Is Alcoholics Anonymous Religious?
The right term is spiritual, though it’s not uncommon or unusual for people to see and brand it as religious. Most of the reason is due to the 12-step program’s instruction to accept a higher power. For Christians, this means accepting the Lord and allowing The Lord God to take control. Accepting a higher power is figurative and even a non-religious person can accept a higher power. The point is not the higher power, instead, it’s about surrendering control. Preferably to something better, who will not let you down, something “higher” than you.
Realistically, there are people who advocate the word of the Lord in these meetings. They mean well, and nobody there will nor should force you to believe in anything but yourself.
Do I have to Talk in Meetings?
Short answer: No.
Long answer: AA meetings will never force you to do things. They not even inclined to give you advice unless you ask for it. If you just want to listen, listen. When the host or moderator of the group asks for you to talk, politely say no and they will pick the next one.
This also means nobody is allowed to interrupt anyone when they are talking. This means if you finally feel like sharing your story and the lessons you learned, expect that everyone will lend you their ears and the floor is very much yours.
It is, however, encouraged for you to talk. Even if you won’t make a coherent statement and simply ranted, that’s fine. Talking about your problems causes a cathartic effect, allowing you to release all your pent-up emotions. With this said, expect people going from zero to boisterous laughter in less than a second, then stomp the floor in fuming anger the next.
My Friend/Lover is a Drug Addict. Will Alcoholics Anonymous Be of Help?
Yes, butNarcotics Anonymouscan help you better. AAs can still help because, in the end, they are talking about addiction and what damage the addiction causes. Alcohol, however, has a different effect on people, which in some cases may generate experiences completely different from heroin or morphine addiction.
Narcotics Anonymous helps families and addicts alike. Often times you’ll see their spouses telling their stories, some of the grief, others of recovery. In between, you’ll hear something similar to your case, perhaps even identical. Another thing worth noting is that you can hear stories from addicts themselves, which may shed a light on your lover/spouse/friend’s condition.
They have the same 12-step programs as well, along with possible connections from professionals. They also practice strict anonymity, so you and the person you’re concerned with will be safe.
Alcoholics Anonymous and all similar groups have existed decades ago, using the same traditional methods. They have helped people go through either own addiction or someone else’s. They will never force you, nor charge you with anything. They will encourage you to listen and share your stories, and occasionally, they will request donations for the group’s upkeep.
They are created to help people go through the behavioral and physiological disease of addiction. It’s never too late to visit one, and it’s never too early to ask for help.
Alcohol and drug addiction is a disease that both affects the individual and the community. They cause a wide array of illnesses, some of them fatal. People close to addicts get affected through the addict’s behavior and how these people adjust with them. Even the impression of a society with addicts here and there is often not a good place to live in.
How Families Act
There are a handful of ways that families deal with someone’s addiction. Normally, it’s separated into two types: One that supports the addiction, usually to maintain what function they can get. The Second is a family who is trying to either confront or isolate the drug addict, also in an attempt to recover some function. One thing is certain, they are all suffering from a reduction of their quality of life.
On the prior case, where the family supports the addiction, some act as if the addiction is not as severe. You may want to point it out but you’ll be returned with denial. Another kind is of codependency, where the functional addict is fully supported because they are the breadwinner.
The latter one had family members tip-toeing around their addicted loved one. You might see them distancing themselves from the addict, or witness them confront the addicts. Violence may occur and it’s your prerogative to call the authorities when that happens.
What Can You Do For Them or About Them?
There are many things you can do. You can choose to help or show your concern. The fact is that it’ up to you whether you want to take action. In that sense, here are a few tips on how to act.
Avoid name calling, accuses and judgments. They know well and truly what’s happening
Understand that though the addict is the one causing it to him or herself, there are a lot of other factors that pushed them to it.
Educate yourself about addiction and if possible, recovery from it.
Never enable them, addicts will use any excuse to justify their addiction
Do not protect the addict from the consequences of their actions
If the family approaches you to participate in an intervention, so do. Your presence is enough
As much as possible, don’t be negative towards the family or the addict. They already have it bad and it might increase their feelings of guilt, furthering the problem.
Bring your concern to support groups like the Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous. It doesn’t have to be a family member to approach them before they could help.
If the addict is consuming illegal drugs, discreetly inform the authorities. If they can’t deal with the addict, they can deal with the source.
Those are what you can do as an individual. A healthy community is not one who shuns the addicts or isolates them. Instead, a good community should acknowledge that addicts are inflicted by a disease caused by many factors. If everyone abides by these guidelines, it won’t be long until a community is free of factors that push addiction.
An addict’s behavior is severely different from what they were before. Once, someone was a hardworking businessman who plays equally hard, the next, he’s an isolated workaholic who does nothing but work and stays out late, only to come back and sleep. If this man was alone, he’d only be a threat to himself, but what if that man was a father? How will his wife and kids cope? It’s not an easy question.
Coping is not easy, nor it is a short process. Families often have to sum up the courage to get by their day-to-day lives without further ruining what they have. There’s fear that the addict’s health will decline to such a state where their lives are ultimately threatened. The addiction saps money, breaks the bonds between families and endangers the addict’s health, mentally and physically.
In some cases, the family or spouse has no choice but to enable the addiction. Some addicts are only functional when they get their dose, other become aggressive when they don’t get there does. Other people are afraid to confront their addicted loved ones because of how the addicts behave when confronted.
This begs the question: How can they cope? How can they manage?
Every state has their own local groups, both governments made and private. Commonly known as Narcotics Anonymous or Alcoholics Anonymous, all families must do is attend their meetings. Facilitators and other families will offer their help to both guide the affected family addict to recuperation.
Are There Any Fees?
No. These groups gather donations from compassionate people and groups to fund their project. There are cases where fully recovered addicts and other entities will sponsor the addict’s rehabilitation as a way of ‘paying it forward’.
Do They Offer Professional Help?
No. This is a community group with common people helping with common problems. They do cooperate with professionals and rehab centers but are not directly affiliated with them.
How Can Support Groups Help?
They offer counseling services of all kinds. Each family’s condition is unique. People act differently when living with an addict. Some of them take it lightly or remain functional, others succumb to the stress and tension and ultimately become addicts themselves.
They Help Set Up Interventions
Confronting addicts is no easy feat. While others easily admit, there are others who will fight to continue their addiction. Support groups help facilitate them ensuring a successful first step.
They Help Co-dependents
Codependents often forgo all their needs to ensure that the person they’re dependent on, remains functional. Support groups help them learn how to work on themselves and their coping skills. They teach co-dependents to stop supporting their partner and offer alternative ways to respond.
They Help Siblings and Children Who are Left Out
In some families, the addict is the center of attention or care, leaving others left out. Support groups have people with similar experiences, who they can find common grounds with. In turn, they can get the encouragement they need to cope.
When dealing with addiction, some rehabilitation centers follow something called the 12-Step program. It’s a method of addressing, understanding, accepting the causes behind the addiction and seek a better life. Some people state that 12-Step program does not work, that it’s purely subjective and has no long-term effects. One aspect of that is true. There are people who relapse after the program and some even want to approach it for several reasons.
Why People Believe 12 Step Programs Don’t Work
There are plenty of misconceptions about the program. These are usually because they haven’t been there, or listened to people who had a bad experience with it. Others are simply a misinterpretation of the inner workings of the program.
People Believe that 12 Step Programs are to “Reprogram” or “Brainwash” You
The 12-Step Programs are simply a suggestion. You can choose to follow it or not. You are free to leave when you want and stay if you think you need help. The steps are no different from practicing a dance routine until you know the entire dance. The reason why it appears as “reprogramming” is because of the repetition and habit required to form.
People Think 12-Step Meetings are Only For Religious People
Part of the steps is about accepting a higher power, in this case, God. Regardless of your religious alignment, the steps will help you gain perspective.
People Think That 12-Step Programs are a Cult or Similar
There’s a good reason why people think this. People gather into a group, practice a set of motions, mutter words and live their life according to the “doctrine.” It also doesn’t help that 12-Step program groups are sometimes called “Fellowships.”
It’s not a cult. Cults require you to believe in a certain dogma. They have rituals for acceptance and often have consequences for people who want to leave. The 12-Step fellowships accept everyone who needs help with open arms and those who leave are given a meaningful goodbye.
12-Step Groups are Filled with Convicts, Addicts, and Washouts
You wouldn’t want to be part of a group with criminals in them, right? Good, because 12-Step meetings are not filled with them. It’s true that some of them have criminal backgrounds, but all members have one goal in mind: To rehabilitate themselves into becoming functional, law-abiding people.
12 Step Meetings Have Low Success Rates
This is where the ultimate factor of this program lies, willpower. There are comprehensive studies that conclude a high-level success for people who follow the program. What constitutes a high chance of success? It’s people who follow the program loyalty.
12-Step Programs Work as Long as Long as You Work The Steps
It doesn’t matter if you’re religious or not. The point of the program is to help you understand your addiction, what you’ve caused, who you’ve hurt and what you can do about it. This program’s success rests entirely on the individual.
People who reported failure did not have the willpower and proper mindset. If they did, they did not seek help when they needed it. 12-Step Programs are made to ensure that for each step you take, you move closer to recovery.
Addiction is a terrible disease. Its effects not just affect the individuals under the influence. The people around them, close to them are also affected, one way or another. The most common reaction to an addict is to distance themselves. The same applies to the addict. In order to remain undisturbed, they isolate themselves from others.
Unfortunately, it’s not as simple as it sounds. People have differing opinions and different roles. Differing opinions mean not everyone will distance themselves. Different roles also mean those affected, can influence others. For example, the addict is a father. If he’s the breadwinner, he could break the family apart. The wife wants to help her husband but the teenage son wants nothing about it. Their disagreements and the father’s uncooperativeness pushes them all apart.
Their life savings are drained, the father’s not always there and the son is given less attention.
It all sounds melodramatic, but it’s not far from the struggle families go through. Some families remain functional, but it’s only a matter of time before things fall apart.
Reality They Must Accept
There are a few things that addicts and concerned individuals must accept.
Becoming sober doesn’t instantly solve the problem. Addiction breaks a lot of things apart and one of them is trust. This stems from the situations when addicts have let their family down and caused trouble for them. Trust takes time to build. There’s always a risk that addicts will relapse. This risk is the doubt that lingers among the family.
The Road to Recovery
This is under the assumption that the addict will do what they can to recover. Rehab centers have counselors that will help addicts understand themselves. The steps stated here can apply to families broken by other reasons or means.
Establish Communication
Even a date would go bad without proper communication. Open up means of communication, even if the people won’t respond. What’s important is to let your family know that you are fighting it. Even if they don’t respond well, opening communication will allow them to reach you when they are ready.
Take Initiative
It’s your life. Take back control any way you can. If you can’t, seek those that can help you. Show your family that you are taking control. This is a step towards building trust, and they can only trust you as much as you can trust yourself. Don’t wait for them to forgive you. Ask for it. If they can’t, accept it and seek to build their trust.
Stick to the Program
Like school, you won’t learn if you’re not there. Prudence in attendance will show both your family and your counselor that you are serious about recovery. Even if you’re not recovering fast enough, simply sticking to the program will grant a significant change in you.
Play the Long Game
Just as addiction is a long process, so is recovery. There will be moments where there’s resistance. Sometimes, things will look like it’s just making it worse. This is normal. Be patient, keep an open mind and be humble. Eventually, you’ll earn their trust and you can start building something better than before.
Addiction is a disease that affects the individual, as well as the people close to them. Friends and families pushed away, severing more connections along the way. Support groups help addicts cope and recover from their addiction, but what about their families? Are there support groups that help families?
Thankfully, there is. Families don’t just stick back together even after an addict’s completely sober. Trusts were severed, people were let down, and there are still unresolved problems like money. Support groups will help families understand the factors behind the addiction. They will help address the underlying reasons, stressors, and triggers.
Support groups play an important role in families. Without their guidance, an addict may return to their families, only to experience the same triggers and stressors. Often times, it can sprout new problems that may ultimately cause addicts to relapse. This, in turn, causes more problems.
Benefits of Support Group Assistance for Families
Helps The Family Understand The Addiction
There may be mixed perceptions as to why the addict takes their substance. What loved ones think as small, insignificant problems may be a key stressor to the addict. One reason why addicts turn to their habits is that they want to avoid their stresses. Support groups can help the family understand what their addicted loved one, has trouble explaining.
Helps Them Properly Control the Addiction
Some concerned family members may attempt to control the addiction. Examples are loved ones hiding the drugs, destroying them, or any other ways to keep the addict from their substance. Others may unintentionally feed the addiction, or enable the person’s addiction. Examples of these are when they cover for them when they’re hungover or similar conditions. Understanding how to manage them is integral to an addict’s recovery
They Can Help Stage an Intervention
There are families who are afraid to confront their addicted loved one. Arguments have turned violent because of miscommunication. Other times, confrontation only pushes the addict away, isolating them further. With their help, proper planning, a warm reception, and open arms can make all the difference.
They Can Help You Function as a Family Again
Even if the addict is the focal point of the therapy, their loved ones also need them. Family members may be completely against accepting the addict back or trusting them. This could be due to trauma or grief, all of which should be addressed. The goal is to have things go back to normal, then strive to be better.
They Have Connections
One key advantage of seeking a support group is their connections. Support groups have access to professionals, centers, and even sponsors. Sponsors could be people who successfully recovered and are willing to financially help other recovering addicts. Established groups often have a wide network of people willing to help their cause.
Seeking support groups are not the only way. There are other various options to help those coping with addiction. What truly matters is the will of both the family and the addict, to seek a healthier lifestyle.
