Monday 2 October 2017

Healing An Addiction-Torn Family

Addiction is a terrible disease. Its effects not just affect the individuals under the influence. The people around them, close to them are also affected, one way or another. The most common reaction to an addict is to distance themselves. The same applies to the addict. In order to remain undisturbed, they isolate themselves from others.

Unfortunately, it’s not as simple as it sounds. People have differing opinions and different roles. Differing opinions mean not everyone will distance themselves. Different roles also mean those affected, can influence others. For example, the addict is a father. If he’s the breadwinner, he could break the family apart. The wife wants to help her husband but the teenage son wants nothing about it. Their disagreements and the father’s uncooperativeness pushes them all apart.

Their life savings are drained, the father’s not always there and the son is given less attention.

It all sounds melodramatic, but it’s not far from the struggle families go through. Some families remain functional, but it’s only a matter of time before things fall apart.

Reality They Must Accept

There are a few things that addicts and concerned individuals must accept.

Becoming sober doesn’t instantly solve the problem. Addiction breaks a lot of things apart and one of them is trust. This stems from the situations when addicts have let their family down and caused trouble for them.  Trust takes time to build. There’s always a risk that addicts will relapse. This risk is the doubt that lingers among the family.

The Road to Recovery

This is under the assumption that the addict will do what they can to recover. Rehab centers have counselors that will help addicts understand themselves. The steps stated here can apply to families broken by other reasons or means.

  • Establish Communication

Even a date would go bad without proper communication. Open up means of communication, even if the people won’t respond. What’s important is to let your family know that you are fighting it. Even if they don’t respond well, opening communication will allow them to reach you when they are ready.

  • Take Initiative

It’s your life. Take back control any way you can. If you can’t, seek those that can help you. Show your family that you are taking control. This is a step towards building trust, and they can only trust you as much as you can trust yourself. Don’t wait for them to forgive you. Ask for it. If they can’t, accept it and seek to build their trust.

  • Stick to the Program

Like school, you won’t learn if you’re not there. Prudence in attendance will show both your family and your counselor that you are serious about recovery. Even if you’re not recovering fast enough, simply sticking to the program will grant a significant change in you.

  • Play the Long Game

Just as addiction is a long process, so is recovery. There will be moments where there’s resistance. Sometimes, things will look like it’s just making it worse. This is normal. Be patient, keep an open mind and be humble. Eventually, you’ll earn their trust and you can start building something better than before.

 

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from
http://alanonmeetingsnear.me/2017/10/02/addiction-healing/

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